OK, I'm aware I might be turning into a poster site for depression, so I'll get back to what I do best: sarcasm, ridicule and humor. I recall a friend who asked me once if there was anything I didn't make fun of. I replied that I tried to lay off death and dying at funerals...
So in that spirit, I recount the experience of receiving assistance from my former employer to file for unemployment assistance (why would they call it that? I'm not looking for help to be unemployed...):
Under the guise of good intentions, our HR department set up times to come to the district HR office and receive assistance filling out the paperwork. One stop shopping - get the state ball rolling and make the company happy, too. Fair enough. I show up to my appointed hour about ten minutes early, and join the half-dozen folks milling about in the waiting area. Folks continue to file in until there is a crowd of about 30-40.
Being me, I strike up a conversation with a fellow layoff-ee. I wonder out loud how well HR will handle this process, as they have underperformed to date. In response to my story about my boss' obvious discomfort as he laid me off, she mentions her boss started crying and she was forced to comfort him.
At appointed hour +10 minutes, someone brings out an easel with the day's schedule, posts it by the door and disappears without a word. Sure enough, the schedule confirms that they're running behind. At appointed hour +20 minutes, the security guard tells us they are in fact running late, and it will be another 20-25 minutes. A handful of people leave. Sure enough, at the appointed hour +45 minutes, the doors are thrown open and we're handed a packet of paperwork as we file into the auditorium.
The state unemployment officer gives us a ten minute review of the unemployment process - any questions? - tells us to fill out our paperwork and sits down. We file into two lines on opposite sides of the room to wait out turn in front of four reps. In less than a minute, I get the everything's fine (for you - you have a job!) and take this next door to HR. OK, next door I go, another minute and out the door I go. All told, even starting 45 minutes late, I'm out in 10 minutes less time than they advertised. As I head for the truck, I can't help but wonder what in the h-e-double hockey sticks was wrong with the first group that they took two-and-a-half hours to do what I just did in thirty-five minutes??
Ah well, I got out of the house, had a nice chat with an old friend from high school, and filed for unemployment. Not a bad morning.
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